I didn’t think twice that afternoon. Money was no object. By gosh, I deserved it! I called Uber. Michael arrived in a gas-guzzling but beautiful Yukon. To my tired body, it looked like a stretch limo.
He was about my age, African American man with a big smile and a voice so welcoming that I didn’t care how long it took me to get home, he’d get me there…yes’ Ma’am! And the young woman who was sharing the ride… OK, so I did at least use the Uber X to split the cost. “I’m from Patterson”, he told us. Seems he had gotten up very early, driven to two airports and decided since he was in the City, he’d make a little money before heading home where he pays 1500.00 per month to rent a 4-bedroom, 4-bath house. When the young woman told him that her San Francisco studio apartment in a building built in 1904 cost twice that and he almost ran off the road, it was clear that he truly hadn’t spent much time in the City.
She got out at her ridiculously costly bedroom, and the two of us headed out toward the Sunset. He’d never seen Golden Gate Park, the Bridge or the Great Highway that runs along the Pacific shoreline. So, while I became a tour guide, he asked me about my day…how sweet was that? I told him my “real job” was a coach and that I helped people find love. “How ’bout couples?”, he asked. Then, he began to tell me about his 30 year marriage and how his wife wanted him to show her affection…not sex…affection. He said, “I’m not good at that. I never saw my Mama and my Daddy show any affection. They didn’t show me any affection or tell me they loved me, so I don’t really know how to do that either.” This sweet big-hearted man was SO lovable, and yet he had no idea how to give his wife what she wanted but he truly wanted to make her happy.
So, we talked and I gave him a Reader’s Digest condensed version of what women want and need, how it feels to be a man and feel you never can get it right, and the yearning both women and men have just to be heard, understood , touched and loved. It was new information for him and he ate it up, hungry to learn how to show his love to her.
The ride was almost over. He had learned why he needed to listen and not fix things. How much she needs to talk and why. How he can take baby steps to just touching her on the shoulder, or giving her a hug without any expectations. He even planned on bringing her flowers. He knew she might be surprised at first or think he’d gone mad. But, this man wanted to change, to learn and grow in ways that would make his wife happy. That after all is all he had ever wanted.
I wish I could have been a mouse in the corner of his living room when that weary man returned to Patterson that night, flowers in hand and maybe put them in a vase for her the next morning. Who knows what happened to him. But, I know what happened to me. I was so happy when I got out of that Yukon. See…I had given to someone something so important to my life. The gift that I have to bring to this world had been used. That’s what makes us all happy. Giving our gifts to someone who is just waiting for us to come into their life, sometimes quite by chance in the most unlikely places and ways. Thank you Uber, for sending Michael to pick me up in every way!
Do you want to know more about how relationships work? Improve yours, or perhaps find someone with whom to share this next amazing chapter of your life?
Give me a call or email me to set up a Complimentary Session so we can find a way to bring more love into your life!
Donna Bailey, MS
Coaching, Speaking, Writing and Expert”ing” in Dating and Relationships for “Grown-ups”
Donna’s Big Red Chair