So, how many women reading this think men are looking for younger women? How about this one…Men are only interested in sex. Well, you are RIGHT!! Men are interested in sex, but not ONLY in sex. And, they are attracted to younger women, but not to establish relationships, necessarily. There are, of course, men who are happily partnered with younger women, but there’s more than age that makes him care for her. And, the things that make a man want to be with you are not about how old you are. There’s so much you don’t know about what men want and need in relationships. It’s not your fault, by the way. We aren’t taught about what real relationships are built on, so I hope I can offer some new insights, so that you don’t waste your time trying to squeeze into a size 2, or spent a fortune on a new dress every time you go out on a date. More important to me is that you begin to learn the truth, the FACTS about men and stay open to some new beliefs about loving them and allowing them to return that love. Until we women do that, we may find ourselves alone, or feeling alone even in our long-term relationships.
There are two kinds of attraction. One is “Sexual Attraction” and the other, “Romance and Emotional Involvement”. Most of us know only the things the media taught us, and that our parents may not have taught us, thus we carry a heavy load of misinformation. Sexual attraction we know lots about. That’s what keeps the cosmetic industry going strong, not to mention Victoria’s Secret. It’s what keeps that other woman’s voice chattering away in our heads, “You aren’t pretty enough to get anybody”. “Who would want a woman in that size dress?” And God forbid you have had a mastectomy. Those voices are heavy and persistent. But, I want you to know what’s true about you, and that men are looking for women beyond the sexual attraction “phase”.
We forget our DNA hasn’t changed that much, and we are all still cavemen and women. Don’t underestimate that. Did you know that one of the 4 most important things men look for in a woman during the Sexual Attraction phase is SHINY HAIR! Go advertisers!! Count how many commercials you see for those products. Why does it matter? Because in the caveman era, shiny hair was a sign that a woman had enough body fat to produce it, and the more body fat, the more fertile…and that’s what it was all about for them then. Survival. Still, it’s in that DNA of men today as are all things sexual, including attraction to great bodies (of all sizes and shapes), that zaza ZOOM of sexual energy. So, we naturally can believe they only care about our looks and whether or not we are sexually appealing. But there’s more, and it’s this “more” that will determine whether or not a man will find you the kind of woman he is looking for in a partner. Women who have these qualities are the “Keepers”, so if that’s what you are seeking…look for my next Blog Post and I’ll show you what truly matters to men looking for love, or keeping the love they’ve found! And, by the way, if you’re looking for great sex in your life and not interested in going beyond that stage, that’s OK too. There are men out there who share that vision too and we all get to choose a path that makes us happy. If you want more in your next relationship…stay tuned.
Are you tired of watching sunsets alone and ready to find someone special to share this next amazing chapter of your life? Ready to learn more about yourself and kick those roadblocks to the side of the road so he or she can find you? I’d be honored to be your guide!
Let’s talk and see what will give you the confidence, skills and moxie to do whatever it takes to find love again!
Donna Bailey, MS
Coach, Speaker, Writer and Expert in Dating and Relationships for Grown-ups
Donna’s Big RED Chair