I’m on vacation so I pulled this one from the archives because some things never change…
You can call it an adventure if you want, and of course dating is that. Being a female version of Will Rogers myself, I love meeting new people no matter the reason. And adventure aside, dating is also a stressful slog much of the time.
If you are fortunate, your experiences with online dating yield “A Few Good Men”. The odds increase the clearer you can be about what kind of person is most likely to make you happy. Yes, happy…isn’t that the whole point of relationships? Some would argue that I am a hopeless romantic and as such need to wake up and smell the compost heap. They would argue that relationships are hard work and they would be right. If the ratio of work, especially hard work far outweighs happiness and repeated efforts to shift things that haven’t worked, it is time to seek higher ground.
So here you are enjoying your cup of java with a pretty nice person. Conversation flows, you are glad you got your teeth whitened, and before you know it three hours have passed. Another date? Heck yeah! Soon? Heck yeah!!
Time passes so slowly and you fight the teenage feelings. It is “way too early to feel that way”, you say. Truth time…you think about them a lot and can practically see the hands of the clock moving while you wait for Friday. And here you are again…coffee time number two. It feels hopeful, possible, mutual…and the best part is that the coffee dates can stop, right?? Wrong. You see, one of those bratty little “non-negotiables” comes up in conversation. You try to brush it off, push it under the coffee shop table or worse, begin to doubt yourself and maybe even beat yourself up for “feeling that way”. You want this to work, dammit!
Fast forward…next day… something keeps nagging at you. Maybe too much coffee this morning, or that greasy muffin? You can’t push it down any more. This isn’t going to work! One of those “values” you own cannot be silenced and isn’t shared by your newly found potential partner- in- life. Damn…back to the computer.
You will find your love…just not today. But when you do, you’ll know it, and be so happy you didn’t settle for anyone less than this perfectly imperfect person.
Are you a hopeless romantic that’s tired of watching sunsets alone and ready to do whatever it takes (even that dating slog?) to find someone with whom to share this next amazing chapter of your life?
Call me or email me for a Complimentary Session to see how to begin again.
Donna Bailey, MS
Donna’s Big Red Chair
Coach, Speaker, Writer and Expert in Dating and Relationships for Grown-ups