How Holiday Gifts Can Be Like the Tax Plan


“‘Tis the Season!” so they say. The season of giving…and shopping, and mailing, and deep sighs that lie like blankets over our heart’s resistance to what the season demands of us.


Our nature is to love, connect, need one another and to give. Like some mobius strip, wanting to give and receive love, to listen and to share our lives with one another. And yet, in this season of giving it can feel like a duty rather than the joy that giving brings. Why?


Each year we are in a different chapter of our precious lives. Sometimes life is giving us roses. Other holidays feel like we’re lost, alone and just wishing this year would end. Our bodies may be screaming, jobs or relationships lost, or new babies may have arrived to remind us what real joy feels like. We can’t know from year to year, but we can honor ourselves and others by being honest about where we are and what we need from friends and family.


No matter which side of the political spectrum you find yourself this year, one thing is obviously a mess. When any party feels that they have to pass laws that even they know Americans feel will be harmful to them just to say they “did something”, integrity dissolves. The moral compass is not working. Gift-giving can, if we’re not careful be like that. We turn on our computers headed to Amazon, or brave folks head to the stores and just want to “get it done”. Our hearts are elsewhere, perhaps just not feeling it this year. That’s the time to check in with yourself and take a deep breath before you shop. Here’s a thought…


Sit down and just allow yourself to feel what is real for you this season. Tired? Worried? Sad? Not sure what’s happening or needs to happen to make you feel happier and more joyful? After you allow that some room, take out a sheet of paper and make a list of the folks you buy gifts for during the holidays. Look at each person and think of one thing you like about them and feel that. Then, think of something you know about them and ask what gift would tell them you know something about what they like or need. An “active” gift like a movie ticket or museum pass…or something practical that they would love. If you’re just giving because you have to, perhaps it’s time to look at that. Don’t be like the politicians in Washington this year. Follow your moral compass, look inside yourself and then act.


Missing having someone in your life with whom to share the holidays? Perhaps you’re ready to give yourself that gift? I’m happy to be your guide to finding love again.

I offer a Complimentary Session to hear more about what you want and share my ideas about how you can best find the love of your life in 2018.

Call me or email me to set up a time to talk

Donna Bailey, MS

Coach, Speaker, Writer and Expert in Dating and Relationships for Grown-ups

Donna’s Big RED Chair