In the End, Action is All That Matters
Some of us live by the Serenity Prayer, but for those of you who are less familiar with it, here it is:
“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.”
I know when there is something “
we I cannot change” when I talk and talk and talk about it and nothing changes. In the absence of change, I just talk more. Many of us spend our lives talking about things we would like to do, know we need to do, think we ought to do and time flies by. We talk and talk and talk about it and then, one day we smell the coffee and reallllllly realize that life is not a dress rehearsal. This time, we know, because our knees need replacing, we get that dreaded call about our mammogram, or if we are lucky, we just need to take an Advil to get moving.
I have a good friend who wakes up to a lot of regret about decades of not fully living and feeling the joy of each day, often talking about work he never did, degrees he never finished, and love he experienced but couldn’t keep. Like most of us, his childhood wasn’t perfect and the heaviness he feels most days might be a result of that childhood. Perhaps there were people who meant well but didn’t know the power that words, or the lack of them have on young children. In the end, it doesn’t matter. What does matter is doing the hard work it takes to heal the hurt.
Harville Hendrix, PhD, a brilliant therapist and writer says, “Stubbornly, we want what we need without having to change who we are, but that is impossible, for what we need is ourselves–our lost wholeness–which is attainable only through changing what we have become.”
Listen to yourself when you hear yourself say…”I would love to, but….”, “If I had the money, I would…..”, “It is too late to……”, ” I wish I had…..”, “Yeah, that would be nice, but….”. Those are pieces of unfinished living and they are taking your life on a daily basis. Do everything you can to find “the courage to change.” so that you feel the real joy life will give you.
Donna Bailey, MS
Coach, Speaker, Writer and Expert in Dating and
Relationships for Grown-ups
Donna’s Big Red Chair