I spent yesterday afternoon in a beautiful park that overlooked the San Francisco Bay. My dear friend always celebrates her birthday in that park because she’s happiest there.
The parking is sparse up in those hills and though she never asks us to bring anything, everyone takes the time to make something special, or perhaps because they feel a bit guilty for not making a homemade dish, spend a fortune on some fabulous cheeses and wines. I bring my famous homemade apple pie because I love baking them, but honestly, I love that people who’ve been willing to ax the cholesterol mania look forward to letting it all go and enjoying something quite sinful by California standards. I gotta admit, I love doing the “wrong” things in life. It’s where the joy lives.
My friend is an immigrant from Eastern Europe, and many of her friends are too. It’s always beautiful to see that sea of beautiful blue eyed people so full of life and joy gathered in one place.
The cake was beautiful. Soft clouds of whipped cream, fresh strawberries covered angelic yellow cake. When the time came to celebrate, she said “I am going to do the toast this year.” She toasted her friends, told us how of all the things in her life, her daughters and her friends were the most important. “Life is so busy.” she said. “And I don’t spend enough time with all of you. I’m sorry about that and this year, I’m going to change that because I love you so much. It’s what I want to do with my precious time.”
I felt the tears welling up from a deep place in my soul. That morning I’d spent two hours on the phone with a forever friend from Maine. We talked about our health, our homes and children, grandchildren and the fears we have about ageing and friends who were sick and struggling. When we hung up, I wondered what I would do without her, without friends. I can’t imagine it because they are like my heartbeat.
Today, I hope you will think about what your life would be like without your friends. Then, ask yourself if the time you are giving to them is in proportion to the importance they have in your life. If the answer is “No”, perhaps it’s time to consider your priorities. We spend our precious currency of time on what we perceive is most important, so look at where you’re investing yours. That cake was wonderful, but a temporary delight. My friend…she’s forever.
If you think others might enjoy this blog, please post it on your Facebook page or email it to your friends with a note telling them how much you love them.
Tired of watching those sunsets alone and ready for a friend and new love of your life? It’s lovely to be in love again. Ready to find them? I can be your guide to finding love again.
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Donna Bailey, MS
Coach, Speaker, Writer and Expert in Dating and Relationships for Grown-ups
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