I am a communication junkie. OK, I admit it. I love connecting and when I connect, it makes my day and my life richer. It’s a smorgasbord of choice! I can email, text, add those little emojis, develop my own avatar, FaceTime, Skype, and oh yeah…phone someone. I think my readers are all old enough to remember phones, right?
So, what form of communication do you love most? And, when you’re in the sticky world of finding love and dating, how is that workin’ for you? We are all on a great big learning curve the size of St. Louis’ arch so, here are a few things I have learned about ways that foster respect and keep the lines open…
- Communication is a way we connect with another human being. We all need to feel our time is valued and thus, we are valued. Make time available for that in your life. Respect it and the person with whom you are communicating. Don’t multi task while you are talking, call right before you hit a dead zone (my ex-husband used to do that…hmmm, did you notice the “EX”?), and ask the person you are calling if it is a good time for them so that they can do the same.
- Find out the other person’s preferred means of communicating and tell them yours. Find a way to use both means to connect with each other so that both feel heard and happy.
- Do not communicate emotional issues via text or email, especially in a new relationship. No social cues, facial expressions or voice changes make it impossible to “read” the other person. And one small word interpreted by your reader can make or break what might have been a great relationship.
- Do not break up with someone via text or email, no matter how many “good reasons” you come up with. It’s a cop out.
- Learn about the gender differences and the need for communication and connection. They are vital in a good relationship. Women need connection…hear that, guys…it is a chemical, hormonal, primitive need that you must learn to honor if you want your sweetie to be happy. Men need less communication, not more, especially when the subject is emotionally charged. Read up on this one ladies if you ever hope to keep a good thing.
From the day you meet someone you think you might like to date again right on through a 50 year marriage, communication is the number one issue to learn and to honor. It is not for the faint of heart. We are not taught about it, so self-educate!
If you are tired of watching sunsets alone, and ready to find a perfectly imperfect person with whom you can share the next amazing chapter of your life, love is out there.
Want me to show you how to Find Love in 90 Days?
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Donna Bailey, MS
Coach, Speaker, Writer and Expert in Dating and Relationships for Grown-ups
Donna’s Big Red Chair