Make It a “Yes” Next Time



I’m copping to it…I said “Yes!” just now when the barista asked , “Would you like whipped cream on your mocha?” What the hell. If you’re gonna drink a chocolate bar, what’s a little whipped on it? And yet, how many of us won’t even allow ourselves to have that mocha in the first place, much less anything but fat-free goat’s milk in our decaf.


I have been made aware by some Christmas elf or holiday brainworm how often simply by saying “No” I have limited my life and the joy that’s in it every single day. It happens every time I make declarations made of mental cement like “I can’t write in a coffee shop”. Or see if this one sounds familiar…” I can’t be in a relationship unless_______”, and the “unlesses” are things like, “he wants to live together” or “she spends less time with her girlfriends” or “unless I just meet him/her naturally”.


So, today here I am!  Peet’s Coffee, which by the way in this part of the world probably contains at any one time more people meeting for the first time over coffee than anywhere in Northern California. It’s online dating Nirvana. What better place could there be to write about love, except for my craziness in thinking I can only write where it’s quiet. 


Somehow I was blessed by whatever force brought me to this place, both Peet’s and this awareness of how much happier I’ve been since I started saying “Yes” to most everything. It’s already paying big time benefits!


So, here’s to saying “yes” this year, beginning NOW. Every time you hear yourself thinking “No”, stop yourself. Someone calls to say, “Want to have a glass of wine tonight?” You think…”I’m too tired”. STOP! Go anyway. See what happens. And as for finding love in the coming year, fling those doors wide open and quick! Don’t limit yourself to anything. Try something and maybe even someone you might not have been open to before. Imagine there are thousands of fabulous people out there who will make your heart sing, and at times, make you want to kill them! There ARE thousands of people out there wanting just what you want, or close enough to it. You might spend some time asking where you’d like to be next year during this holiday season or if you’d like to be a bit more naughty than nice this coming year. Santa brings gifts to everyone, you know.


Make saying “YES “to life your only New Year’s resolution and you will be amazed at what can happen!

Email this post to a friend, post it on your Facebook page so that Yes becomes the word of the day!
Are you ready to find someone to share those sunsets and a fabulous bottle of wine? Sick and tired of coming home to only the kisses from your dog? This can be your year if you are ready to say “YES” to love!

Want to know more about how to find that love? Call me at 510-817-4242 or email me at to schedule a time for a Complimentary Session with me!

Donna Bailey, MS

Coach, Speaker, Writer, 

Expert, Dating and Relationships for “Grown-ups”

Donna’s Big Red Chair



What Morning Skies Can Show Us




The sky was the color of babies…you know the pink and blue that still says boy or girl to our body memory?


I had slept like a baby, and happy to wake up under my feather comforter, I reached for the IPad to read my morning meditations. Both my kids would tell you that I’ve been doing those morning readings, listening to soft music, candles lit ever since they were born. I love early morning, watching the skies move from pitch black to baby colors. 


This morning Facebook announced an upcoming birthday of a friend of mine and without pause I protested, “That just can’t be!” You see, I would absolutely swear that he just had a birthday. Couldn’t have been more than a few months ago, right? Same for Christmas being here again and the way they laughed at me where I get my oil changed when I argued that it had NOT been two years since I was in there last.


I hate cliche’ but OMG, time is really flying. I’ve had the physics of it explained but it doesn’t help. I remember Bette Midler’s cry “…it’s going too fast! It’s going too fast!”.


What can we do to slow time down? Nothing. The question now is not about slowing it down, but how to really live every fleeting moment of it. Treating it like the beautiful thing it is. Capturing those morning colors. Asking how best to spend it like precious currency. There is nothing more beautiful than time because life is merely a series of seconds and only you get to decide how to spend each one of yours.


How will we spend our fleeting moments today? Will we give them to someone we love?  Can we remember that time is all that matters, realize that not one person’s memory of us will be about the money we made or the things we possessed?


Let the morning sky be a soft tap on your shoulder today.


Love and time are a beautiful couple. Be generous with yours.

Please repost this on your social media pages so that others will remember the preciousness of time. 

Do you want to give your precious time and love to someone special and haven’t found them yet? 
Begin this next year’s journey to find love by calling me at 510-817-4242 for a Complimentary Strategy Session to learn what it takes to find that special someone with whom to share your very precious time.

Donna Bailey, MS

Coach, Speaker, Writer and Expert in Dating and Relationships for “Grown-ups”

Donna’s Big Red Chair



How to Give the Best Present Ever

pup_11_rk0132_01_p“Giving is a difficult and almost contemplative art form that has to be practiced to be done well;to learn to give is almost always the simple, sometimes heartbreaking act of just giving again. To stop giving in any situation is to call an end to relationship. “

-David Whyte, Consolations

Every holiday season I am surprised how often someone with a deep sigh will say, “I have to go shopping and I really dread it, don’t you?” As much as I’d like to make them feel better, I don’t think I do. My answer to them looks something like this…”Actually, no I don’t ever feel the stress during the holidays. I love giving gifts…and I gotta say, I love getting them too.”

I am a Hallmark baby and even living in California, I have some deep-seated magical thinking that it might snow on Christmas Eve. There were many Christmases when my family had little or no money to buy presents, but somehow my parents always pulled it off. There were dolls who walked, Slinkies, diaries, and one Christmas my Daddy bought us “Hugo” and “Hildegard”, two tiny Dachshund puppies. In the neverending uncertainty that was our family, Christmas morning always happened.

The gifts I loved the most didn’t cost much. They were the ones that made me so happy I wanted to cry. I knew the giver really KNEW me, what mattered to me, what made me light up. Being known was the gift. 

I taught my kids the art of giving by refusing to buy the “hot toy of the season”. Year after year I kept my ears and eyes open to what they were excited by, what made their hearts sing and I would buy those things, hide them all year long in my closet or in the barn and when the holiday screech and scream arrived, I knew I could relax and enjoy feeling the love and gratitude that those holidays are meant to be.

Now, don’t get me wrong. The kids weren’t always happy when they didn’t get the “toy of the day” on Christmas morning. I did cheat and tell a relative or two what their dream items were and later at the family gathering, those relatives got the joy of being the good guys. That was their gift! But somehow, those boys learned that the gift was the thought and purposeful knowing, listening all year long for those clues that would lead them to a gift that says, “I know you love this…”

So this year, snow or not, I am relaxed and moving my heart slowly into this holiday season. I hope that you will do the same. Sit in your chair, lie in bed longer than usual while you ponder just what the people in your life truly want from you. Most of them want your presence not your presents. They want to feel that you truly “get them”. That you know them so well…It is the best gift you can give to those you treasure most.

Stay away from the malls if they take more than they give to you. Stay within a budget that helps you stay in the spirit and out of the buyer’s remorse that can kill the intention of gifting faster than anything. Trust me. We all just want that gift to show that we are loved and understood as the beautiful unique fabulous snowflakes that we are. 

If you are alone this holiday season and want to be standing under the mistletoe next year, you can find someone to share this next amazing chapter of your life. Ready to do whatever it takes!
Let’s talk! Next year can be the best holiday ever if you start today by calling me at 510-817-4242 to book at Complimentary Strategy Session. Give yourself this gift!

Donna Bailey, MS

Coach, Speaker, Writer and Expert, “Dating and Relationships for Grown-ups”

Donna’s Big Red Chair


Page 30 of 109« First...1020...2829303132...405060...Last »