I say that with some hesitancy at first, but then I realize that happiness can be obtained in many ways. That’s good news!
This holiday I am sitting here in my apartment in a town and state that some days feels like a foreign country. It’s nothing like any place I’ve ever lived and I’ve been working really hard for about 6 months trying to understand what’s what. I’m not sure what I expected, but “this” seems different than what I thought it would be like.
I’m in the 50% of people who are finding the holidays a little difficult this year. Yes, 50% of us are not writing those Christmas letters, sending cards or able to do shopping that requires more than hitting the “Go to Cart” button. There are lots of reasons…Here are some my friends and I are experiencing this year:
- Over a year’s worth of politics that have us swinging between doomsday and Toon-Town
- Financial markets that look like leeches, slowly sucking our expectations away
- Being alone, by choice or chance, and feeling isolated
- Not being near our families (of birth) and missing them
- Loss of people we love(d) happened right in this season
- Moving or have moved this year and saying good-bye to people we love
- The exhaustion of caring for aging parents, and all the feelings we have
- Being near our families (of birth) and not missing them
- Our friends are gone over the holidays, or perhaps forever
- We just can’t do one more “orphan” dinner with friends
- Our health is really challenging this year
- Our expectations that it should be different
- Our expectations that we shouldn’t feel this way
Any of these sound familiar? Of course! I’m changing that statistic to 99%! A professor of mine in grad school gave me permission to make up a statistic when I need to.
If we can just accept that no holiday comes and goes without ups and downs, sadness and joy, perspective and complete loss of it, and wishing on a star to feel better than we do is SO NORMAL. And, even better, if we could share what we feel with each other so that we KNOW we aren’t alone, we’d really feel quite OK about this season of moving from dark to light. Did you know the whole season is about that? And better yet, just think about this...when you go into a dark tunnel, halfway, you are in the light again. Remember, you are loved by so many and they love the gifts you bring to their lives. Start with this, and then just allow yourself to feel it all!
Are you tired of being alone and ready to share this next chapter of your amazing life with that special someone? Sunsets are more beautiful, wine tastes better and the New Year will be lighter and brighter with more love in your life!
Call me or email me so we can talk about making your dreams come true!
Donna Bailey, MS
Coach, Speaker, Writer and Expert in Love and Relationships for Grown-ups
Donna’s Big Red Chair