And Now, I Am One

 

cute baby

I used to think listening to people talk about their grandchildren was like watching paint dry. Even now, dodging strollers in yuppie neighborhoods in San Francisco can really irritate me. And the other night, a father came to happy hour in an upscale bar with a Snugli, pushing a hundred pound stroller and I wanted to scream!

 

This morning I rolled over on a piece of Cookie Monster’s face, put my feet on the floor and stepped on a couple of Inner Peas (if you don’t know what these are, I suggest you Google this right away!). I smiled as I made my way to the bathroom where Dora the Explorer bubble bath sat on the side of the tub and I could still hear the giggles and splashing that could make me forget everything else in my world. Yep, I am now one of those grandparents and to tell you the truth, I am feeling a bit Jekyll and Hyde about it myself.

 

At the risk of being stoned to death by members of AARP, I want to offer up my best thinking about being a grandparent and it applies to parents as well. Loving your children and grandchildren is one of the greatest gifts of being a human being. However having a life separate from them is also precious and necessary if you are to truly experience all that this amazing life has to offer. There is nothing more sad than realizing that when the kids leave home, the emptiness is more than in the nest. It is deep in your soul.

 

We are beautiful complex creatures with the drive to live, learn, explore and dream. Our kids and grandchildren are part of that dream for some, but not for all of us. Don’t forget yourself or those dreams if you are a parent or a grandparent and for God’s sake, claim happy hour for yourself and for me..I beg you.

 

PS, if you want to see my pictures, let me know! 

If you want to get this message to a wonderful friend who might need to be reminded about life after grandparenting..please share this by posting on  your Facebook and social media pages!

Thanks in advance for spreading the word.

 

 

Should We Throw Cinderella Under the Bus?

sad cinderella face

 

Last weekend I spent almost a whole beautiful day lovin’ on my twin granddaughters. Who could ask for more?

 

The girls are as different as night and day, but they share one thing…a father raised by me. And that man, God bless him, was born in 1971 just when I was hitting my stride in the Women’s Movement. So, you get the picture. These girls are being raised as strong, capable, caring women who will be celebrated for everything they are and do in this life. And, as research shows, the key indicator in a woman’s success is her relationship with her father.

 

There she was, among the building toys,the books to get them ready for a dental visit and all manner of really great toys…a Cinderella Barbie. Perfection in every way. I felt it rising from the souls of my feet and I wanted to pick that doll up and throw her into a busy San Francisco street. What was that about?

 

My life and the life of so many women raised on Disney haven’t led us to the castle, but instead down paths lined with poppies, poppies, poppies. And what waited for us was not a wise Wizard telling us we had it all along. That would have been amazing. We found men who probably wanted love as much as we did and there we were holding a Barbie Cinderella definition of what would make us happy.

 

Hopeful Romantic is a descriptor of myself that I truly love. Perhaps a dash of Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty and Ariel would have been just the right touch. What I would have wished for and know that my granddaughters are getting includes things like this…

*Love is amazing and so are you! He/she will be fortunate to meet you and get to know you.

*Even a Prince/Princess is imperfect, so you’ll have to love that too.

*Learn as much as you can about them and really learn how to communicate with them so that you feel heard, respected and can let it all hang out when you aren’t feeling perfect either.

*Treasure love and life because each day is a gift. Love is one of the gifts life has to offer and it takes a lot of courage to find it and keep it.

*Be sure to thank your father for helping you become strong, confident and beautiful young women.

 

I think that Cinderella Barbie may need to find a new home…hmmm, does anyone see the container marked “Landfill”?

If you believe in real relationships and want to make sure those you know and love do too..Please Post This to Your Facebook Page!

 

 

Loving Someone…Is it Really Worth the Price?

fireworks

This was posted in 2011 and I thought it was time to re-post it. One of the most important times in my life…

I was on the phone with a friend from back East yesterday afternoon. She was curious about how I had created my business and the conversation moved to my blogging on love. Tactfully, she asked if I had found love since moving back to California and my answer seemed to come as a surprise.

 

I told her I had indeed been in love. That having grown with each relationship I had finally “put both feet inside the door” and allowed myself to fall fully and completely in love. Did the relationship work out, meaning “last”, meaning “forever”…that is the measuring stick after all, isn’t it?

 

When I told her the relationship didn’t “last”, and that I had experienced very deep love since then, she gasped, “Oh my God, did you…didn’t you get hurt!? Didn’t it take you forever to get over the pain?”  I think she may have been surprised to learn that being a mortal, a woman who lives and breathes from her heart, and a woman who wants to love wholeheartedly, I got my ass kicked when it ended. It hurt for a long time and at moments during most days, the pain lingers.

 

“Was it worth it?”, she wanted to know. “You bet it was!” And I will crack open my chest and be open to love once again because CS Lewis taught me the price of not loving…

 

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries;avoid all entanglements;lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket__safe, dark, motionless, airless__it will change. It will not be broken;it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”

“The Four Loves” , CS Lewis

 

 

 

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