This was posted in 2011 and I thought it was time to re-post it. One of the most important times in my life…
I was on the phone with a friend from back East yesterday afternoon. She was curious about how I had created my business and the conversation moved to my blogging on love. Tactfully, she asked if I had found love since moving back to California and my answer seemed to come as a surprise.
I told her I had indeed been in love. That having grown with each relationship I had finally “put both feet inside the door” and allowed myself to fall fully and completely in love. Did the relationship work out, meaning “last”, meaning “forever”…that is the measuring stick after all, isn’t it?
When I told her the relationship didn’t “last”, and that I had experienced very deep love since then, she gasped, “Oh my God, did you…didn’t you get hurt!? Didn’t it take you forever to get over the pain?” I think she may have been surprised to learn that being a mortal, a woman who lives and breathes from her heart, and a woman who wants to love wholeheartedly, I got my ass kicked when it ended. It hurt for a long time and at moments during most days, the pain lingers.
“Was it worth it?”, she wanted to know. “You bet it was!” And I will crack open my chest and be open to love once again because CS Lewis taught me the price of not loving…
“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries;avoid all entanglements;lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket__safe, dark, motionless, airless__it will change. It will not be broken;it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”
“The Four Loves” , CS Lewis