You don’t have to actually be on Match.com to suffer from this predictable malady in the land of the singles looking for love world. Maybe you are one of those people who is taking the “natural” route, where you hope the serendipity of life or a cute new guy or woman joins your book club or climbs on the workout machine next to you. Whatever path you have chosen, one day or one middle of the night you wake up feeling like you just can’t do it another day.
It’s impossible to avoid feelings of disappointment, anger, frustration and sadness when you courageously decide to be open to love. Open means vulnerable and at times feeling like a fryer splayed open on a butcher block. That’s what being vulnerable means…we are open to our feelings and bummer that it is, we can’t be the chooser of just the ones that feel good.
You may not be getting a response to your profile or worse, you may be getting emails from people with hunting rifles in their hands or who live 5000 miles away. If you are fortunate, you may have had a few coffee dates, a nice day at the coast or perhaps even a great romp in the hay. But if it didn’t work out for whatever reason, disappointment’s inevitable.
We are all looking for someone who makes us feel alive and lights our fire. Feeling that is what makes us human. That’s why we put ourselves out there over and over again. We want to feel the burn (and Bernie isn’t what I mean here). We deserve a medal for our willingness to feel disappointed and get up, brush ourselves off, and try yet again.
When you are feeling dating fatigue, there is only one right thing to do. Stop it! Not forever, but until you feel less like a clump of clay being thrown helplessly around on a potter’s wheel. You know the signs…you go online and you have thoughts like, “Yeah, I bet she is.” or “Not another guy who says he wants a strong woman who speaks her mind. I don’t buy it.” We all have those kind of thoughts during times of dating fatigue. It’s time to give yourself some time off. Treat yourself the way you want that special person to treat you. Order dinner in, get a massage, buy yourself something new and remember, this too shall pass. I promise.