Daily Inspirations

Should We Throw Cinderella Under the Bus?

sad cinderella face

 

Last weekend I spent almost a whole beautiful day lovin’ on my twin granddaughters. Who could ask for more?

 

The girls are as different as night and day, but they share one thing…a father raised by me. And that man, God bless him, was born in 1971 just when I was hitting my stride in the Women’s Movement. So, you get the picture. These girls are being raised as strong, capable, caring women who will be celebrated for everything they are and do in this life. And, as research shows, the key indicator in a woman’s success is her relationship with her father.

 

There she was, among the building toys,the books to get them ready for a dental visit and all manner of really great toys…a Cinderella Barbie. Perfection in every way. I felt it rising from the souls of my feet and I wanted to pick that doll up and throw her into a busy San Francisco street. What was that about?

 

My life and the life of so many women raised on Disney haven’t led us to the castle, but instead down paths lined with poppies, poppies, poppies. And what waited for us was not a wise Wizard telling us we had it all along. That would have been amazing. We found men who probably wanted love as much as we did and there we were holding a Barbie Cinderella definition of what would make us happy.

 

Hopeful Romantic is a descriptor of myself that I truly love. Perhaps a dash of Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty and Ariel would have been just the right touch. What I would have wished for and know that my granddaughters are getting includes things like this…

*Love is amazing and so are you! He/she will be fortunate to meet you and get to know you.

*Even a Prince/Princess is imperfect, so you’ll have to love that too.

*Learn as much as you can about them and really learn how to communicate with them so that you feel heard, respected and can let it all hang out when you aren’t feeling perfect either.

*Treasure love and life because each day is a gift. Love is one of the gifts life has to offer and it takes a lot of courage to find it and keep it.

*Be sure to thank your father for helping you become strong, confident and beautiful young women.

 

I think that Cinderella Barbie may need to find a new home…hmmm, does anyone see the container marked “Landfill”?

If you believe in real relationships and want to make sure those you know and love do too..Please Post This to Your Facebook Page!

 

 

Loving Someone…Is it Really Worth the Price?

fireworks

This was posted in 2011 and I thought it was time to re-post it. One of the most important times in my life…

I was on the phone with a friend from back East yesterday afternoon. She was curious about how I had created my business and the conversation moved to my blogging on love. Tactfully, she asked if I had found love since moving back to California and my answer seemed to come as a surprise.

 

I told her I had indeed been in love. That having grown with each relationship I had finally “put both feet inside the door” and allowed myself to fall fully and completely in love. Did the relationship work out, meaning “last”, meaning “forever”…that is the measuring stick after all, isn’t it?

 

When I told her the relationship didn’t “last”, and that I had experienced very deep love since then, she gasped, “Oh my God, did you…didn’t you get hurt!? Didn’t it take you forever to get over the pain?”  I think she may have been surprised to learn that being a mortal, a woman who lives and breathes from her heart, and a woman who wants to love wholeheartedly, I got my ass kicked when it ended. It hurt for a long time and at moments during most days, the pain lingers.

 

“Was it worth it?”, she wanted to know. “You bet it was!” And I will crack open my chest and be open to love once again because CS Lewis taught me the price of not loving…

 

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries;avoid all entanglements;lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket__safe, dark, motionless, airless__it will change. It will not be broken;it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”

“The Four Loves” , CS Lewis

 

 

 

Please, No Drama Ladies!

Oil and water not mixingIt seems that there are quite a few men out there in the dating world who are quick to say,”I don’t want any drama in my life.” What exactly do they mean by that??

 

If by “drama” men mean conflict, then good luck finding a healthy woman or for that matter, a healthy dog. If there is no conflict in your relationship, something is amiss, and the degree to which you can negotiate will tell you all you need to know about the prospects that the relationship will survive.

 

Let’s assume he does know how to deal with inevitable conflict. Perhaps, “drama” brings up the memory of a woman of the past that he just couldn’t make happy no matter what he did. The more she wanted from him, the louder she got. With each increase in decibel or the number of “We need to talk(s)”, he withdrew. And each time he “went away”, she sank into despair. Is this what he calls drama?

 

For every man’s desire to avoid “drama”, there are a dozen women who are asking for a partner that can “communicate”. And she means…??? She might mean he doesn’t check out, get quiet, get angry…she just wants him to “get what I am saying”…to be understood. Don’t we all want that?

 

Here’s what must happen if we are to find a loving partner. We have to understand each other as men and women. The first thing we need to accept is that we are like night and day in the best of circumstances. Men who are healthy and vibrant want to be loved and understood, and most of all, ladies…they want to make you happy. That is numero uno for them…just to make you happy.

 

Men…a woman who is healthy will feel things deeply and though she is strong and capable, she will need you to listen to her, hold her at the end of the day and just listen. She doesn’t need a solution. She just needs to be heard. That is what makes her happiest of all.

Please post this on your social media site and post your comments on this blog. Let’s get this conversation started so we can be happy in love.

 

 

 

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