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When the Rain Comes In

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It’s pouring rain tonight. Winds howling,  making me wish I was sitting in front of a big stone fireplace. Watching the fire dance, feeling the warmth on my face always makes me feel everything is going to be alright.

 

Seems things are quite unsettled these days for everyone I know, even people who have someone to cuddle every night. Restless sleep, irritability, sadness that can’t really be explained and an aimless searching to find answers when it feels like looking into an empty barrel.

 

It’s January, a time of new beginnings, resolutions and some mysterious force that says we need to do things better, make decisions that are healthier, move forward all while singing, “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” and going to Zumba classes. And, it seems most of us can’t move this year, we don’t know what to do and wonder if anything will matter anyhow. We’ve lost our way.

 

I am not going to try and pump you up because I’m part of the same tribe and walking this road with all of you. But, here are some things I am doing this January that I hope will at the very least help you sleep…

  1. Remember that even though our government will change, our friends and family will be there for and with us.
  2. There is beauty all around us every single day. Rainbows are there even during the rain and if you look up often you’ll see the hope they offer.
  3. It’s OK to tune out the news, to read fiction, go to light-hearted film, eat ice cream and spend money on a good bottle of wine or fancy coffee drink.
  4. Buy some flowers and keep color and life in your house.
  5. Light a candle or two in the darker mornings and turn on some soft music rather than the news.
  6. Call your friends rather than texting.
  7. Make a list of things that bring you joy, that you’ve wanted to do forever. Start doing one of them in January. Photography, painting, tai chi, beer making, decorating your bedroom, rescuing an animal from the shelter, finding a place of worship, gathering your friends together to watch a chick flick…
  8. Do a vision board. If you don’t know what that is, email me. It’s the best way I know to find out what you really do love and value so you can get off that sofa and get cookin’.
  9. If you are single and want love in your life, ask yourself what you can do to find love this year and start now!
  10. In a relationship? Pull out some old photos of when you first met and remember what made you happy.

 

We can’t stop the rain or make the skies blue, but we can make our own worlds brighter by getting a grip on our life on a daily, hourly basis. Sometimes that means pulling back from the world, catching our breath and remembering that we Americans are a resilient, strong and loving people who will always show up for each other in times of great need. That will never change.

Offer hope to someone you know today. Post this on your Facebook page or forward it to a friend

 

Are you tired of watching those sunsets alone and ready to do whatever it takes this year to find someone to share this next amazing chapter of your life? Good for you!

Call me at 510-817-4242 or email me at donna@donnasbigredchair.love

We’ll set up a Complimentary Strategy Session to get you on your way in January!

Donna Bailey, MS
Coach, Speaker, Writer and Expert, Dating and Relationships for “Grown-ups”
Donna’s Big RED Chair
www.donnasbigredchair.love 

 

Frozen is More Than a Movie

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Are you longing to have someone in your life, but he/she just isn’t “appearing”? 

Let’s not oversimplify this because for many of us, that unrequited longing for love is really painful. There are no easy answers to finding a partner that will put an end to the ache  of wanting love. But, there are some things you can think about on your journey….or are you even on the journey yet?

See if this sounds familiar…

“Who wants to go to a bar to meet someone? ” “I emailed him and never heard back.” “I don’t want to go online because that is just a desperate move.” “Men at our age are only interested in younger women.” “All they want is to be wined and dined.” “I just don’t have it any more.”

Whew! Exhausting and demoralizing just reading those, right? These are just a few of the ways we become “FROZEN” and never really put our shoulders to the plow to find someone to love. We call those “limiting beliefs” and we ALL have some, even if the ones listed above are not our personalized, monogrammed version.

Getting clear about limiting beliefs is the first step in the “thawing” process. As long as you have roadblocks, the likelihood of finding love is close to zero.

So make a list of those things that come up every time you feel sad about being alone on yet another Saturday night. Then, get some help if you need it to remove those barriers so that the road is clear and the journey exhilarating!

AND if you want to get a jump start…I will be doing a three-hour workshop on Saturday, March 7 from 1-4 in beautiful Carmel-by-the-Sea!! It’s only 30.00!! and  you can still get in! Call the Carmel Foundation at 831-624-1588 to reserve your spot.